Crissy's gone

And just like that, Crissy's gone. She died beside me, while I was petting her. I don't know what happened. I had trimmed her toenails. They had been snagging on everything and cutting me. Crissy and I had better lap time when her nails were trimmed. But nail clipping was always so traumatic for her. This time she had a reaction after I finished. Something happened. I don't know what. I petted her and tried to comfort her. She seemed better. She eventually went away. I checked on her a bit later. She was on the day bed in the sun room. I assumed she was alright. I finally fell asleep. 

I was awoken when she climbed under the covers beside me. I continued to doze. Eventually, I realized something was not right with her. She was in a very bad way. She was "panting," having difficulty breathing. I called the pet ER in Hagerstown. They were not seeing any patients. What good are they?  I called my local vet. The answering service said they'd have the on-call vet call me. I called my sister to ask her if she knew of a pet ER where I could take Crissy. I felt Crissy slipping away from me. Chrissy died while I was talking to Robin. Dr. Oliver called. I explained to him what happened. He said the nail clipping ordeal could have been the stress that triggered whatever was wrong with her, inside her, but it wasn't my fault. It would have happened sooner or later. I still blame myself. If I hadn't trimmed her nails, she'd still be here.

My dear sweet Crissy. She died in my arms. I am going to miss her so much. She was nine years old. I got her on "free cat Fridays" at the local shelter, around Christmas time, which is why I named her Crissy. She was a short-haired orange tabby. Less than twenty-five percent of orange tabbies are female. Oh, Crissy. I'm so sorry. We are all going to miss you so much. I'm going to miss our cuddle time. You were the Queen of the house!  

RIP in kitty heaven. Say hi to Max. I'm sure he's missed you. I miss you both. It hurts so much. You were my girl. At least you died with me holding and caressing you. You had to know how much I loved you. And you loved me, I know. We girls had a special bond.