Be Cool

On the way to work this morning, I was thinking about all the "cool" things I've done, cool things that I still want to do, and things I've done that aren't so cool. Thought they'd make a good topic for the blog.


Cool things I've done:

• Steered a boat through the Suez Canal -- didn't hit anything!
• Drove a BMW on the autobahn when there was no speed limit. Stayed in the "slow" lane and only drove 110 mph.
• Visited the Soviet Union before it broke apart.
• Lived in Poland for six months.
• Met the President of the Dominican Republic.
• Heard a speech by Boris Yeltsen while I was standing in line to visit the Lenin Masoleum.
• Rode a camel around the pyramids at Giza.
• Participated in a taxi race in Moscow. My car won.
• Met Eugene "Lucky" Flucky, WWII submariner and recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor.
• Participated in another "taxi" race. This time in Egypt with donkey carts and young boys as drivers. My cart won.
• Drove to the top of Pike's Peak. Had a bowel movement at 14,110 ft!
• Drove the scenic Beartooth Highway in Montana and Wyoming.
• Rode a horse on the beach in Barbados.
• Saw a Beluga whale born at Marineland in Canada.
• Went horseback riding in Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado.
• Went inside St. Basil's Cathedral.
• Visited Kazakhstan three times.
• Went snorkeling and swimming in the Blue Lagoon in Jamaica.
• Held a lion's stomach in my hands (during surgery at the vet hospital where I worked).
• Saw the Bay of Fundy, one of the natural wonders of the world.
• Toured the Pentagon.
• Went snowmobiling in Lake Tahoe. Fell off the snowmobile at least three times.
• Saw performances of the Moscow Circus and Bolshoi Opera.
• Visited Roswell, New Mexico. Met an alien, got abducted, and kicked out of area 51.
• Wrote my name in the sand at Whitesands National Park. Spelled it wrong.
• Went up in the Sear's Tower and Empire State Building. Waited for Cary Grant -- he never showed. Nor did Tom Hanks.
• Went to church services in a castle in Kracow, Poland.
• Ate dinner in Yugoslavia before civil war tore it apart -- the country, not my dinner.
• Showed at the Centennial National Southdown Show in Louisville, Kentucky.
• Judged the National Sheep and Goat Shows in the Dominican Republic. Three times.
• Learned how to juggle.
• Ate real Hungarian Goulash.
• Went horseback riding through vineyards in Hungary.
• Ate three lobsters for dinner in Maine.
• Saw a white buffalo (in North Dakota) named White Cloud.
• Delivered lots of baby lambs.
• Went rock climbing and repelling in Michigan's Upper Peninsula.
• Participated in a 20 km cross country ski race in Szkarska Poręba, Poland. 7 klicks and I was out! Had never skiied before in my life. Not since, either.
• Spoke at an international conference in Brazil.

Cool things I still want to do:

• Go on an African safari.
• Go to Paris.
• Visit Norway.
• Take a cruise to Antarctica.
• Ride an elephant.
• Jump out of an airplane.
• Ride a mule down into the Grand Canyon.
• Drive the Alaskan Highway.
• Drive a race car.
• Drive the entire length of Route 50 -- from Ocean City to Sacramento.
• Go to a professional basketball game (NBA, not WNBA).
• Drive to Chile.
• Set foot on every continent. So far, I've been in North America, South America, Africa, and Europe.
• Visit every U.S. state. Still haven't been to Alaska, Hawaii, Oregon, and Rhode Island.
• Ride on the sailboat that my brother is building (out of steel).
• Go to a Washington Redskin's football game.
• Go to a boxing match.
• Visit Ground Zero.
• Tour the White House.
• Fly first class. I've flown business class, but never first class.
• Visit Romania, Vietnam, and South Africa.
• Go to New Zealand and Australia.
• Go to Mexico.
• Ride a bull named Fu Manchu (for 2.7 seconds).
• See the Loch Ness Monster.
• Meet Tony Blair.
• Take a train ride across Canada.
• Take a cruise down the Nile.
• See the Great Wall of China.
• See Stonehenge.
• Drive the LA Freeway.
• Go on a date with Matthew McConaughey.
• Create my own breed of sheep. Susanschaf.
• Publish a novel.
• Take up fencing and/or kickboxing.
• Get a makeover.
• Learn another language.
• Win a million dollars by making a basket from half court.
• Host a talk radio show.
• Go hang gliding.
• Coach a basketball team.
• Did I mention go on a date with Matthew McConaughey?

Things that I've done that aren't so cool:

• Got a ticket in a country that didn't have a speed limit. I ran a red light, so they said. Mailed me a ticket - I didn't pay!
• Fell off a donkey. Good thing I didn't fall off a camel. I'd have broken some bones.
• Drank water from the Nile River and lived to tell.
• Drank water in the Dominican Republic and barely lived to tell.
• Spent the night in the emergency room in a Chicago hospital.
• Locked the keys in the car on the Polish-Ukrainian border under the watchful eyes of the border patrol (up in their towers).
• Voted for Teddy Kennedy when he was running against Jimmy Carter in the Democratic Primary in 1980.
• Voted for George W. Bush a second time. Of course, what choice did I have?
• Had the airbags in my car go off twice.
• Totaled my Ford Escape.
• Backed into garbage dumpsters, loading docks, mail boxes, and other cars. At least, I never ran any of my pets over.